Slayerness
by Kurai.Musume
Summary: Ch1 - The Fun Beging. A story of complete and utter randomness... i broke up all the popular couples and added in some OC's and bizarre twists. have fun!


slayerness  
  
Warning: This story was written under the influence of McDonalds brownies, too much Fanta, a few packets of chips, much generalised hyperness, an overdose of Japanese music (mmmmm, Bump of Chicken. Saaaaaailing day.....), er, and general me-ness filled with spite and sick humour and a bizarre desire to hurt Ahiru. Story is designed to shock my friends cuz it's funny, so I apologise (whilst laughing at your faces) if you are offended. There are random OC's thrown in as well as some swearing, sexual references and adult themes. Please do not read if these things offend you. If I get five or more [nice/positive] reviews, then you get the next chapter. Sound fair?  
  
The couple stared longingly at each other. It was an unusual sight that caused much an upset stomach, a werewolf and a human, together. The only people who could stand it were Amelia and Zangulus, who were too caught up in each-other to notice.  
  
"Jillas." she sighed.  
  
"Ahiru." he sighed.  
  
"I wanna puke." Raya sighed. She had just entered after searching for the four friends halfway across the freakin atlas. Lina had accompanied her, but after seeing the sickening couples inside the inn, they had both decided that perhaps it was a bad idea to try to reunite with the group, so they fled the building. Upon reaching outside, Lina pointed at Raya exclaiming.  
  
"RAYA WING!!!" Raya was lifted about three metres above the ground in a levitation spell. She looked down and stated in a high-pitched voice.  
  
"Fuck you." *Although I wish someone would.* she muttered beneath her breath. She muttered further and Lina began shrieking. she was now dressed like Alice. The fighting degenerated to various changing of clothes until Raya ended up in a jester outfit with a teardrop and a star on her face whilst Lina wore a long blue towel-like dress over baggy white pants and a beige top.  
  
Back inside the building, tensions were mounting. kinda like what Ahiru and Zangulus were doing. AHEM!!! The innkeeper looked over at the steamy couple and kicked them out of the inn. Amelia and Ahiru were to be travelling together to find the mythical statue of supreme justice which would rid the world of all evil. Jillas and Zangulus were hunting for the pool of growth which would allow Valgaav to become his previous age. Zelgadis and Raya were just out to find interesting places for a good fuck, although they had parted ways a couple of towns ago after Lina had complained about the noise level, after all, they were in HER bed whilst she was trying to sleep there. At least they knew that the pillows were of the Highest Standard of Muffleability.  
  
In another dimension.  
  
"Awwwwwwwwww.! C'mon Kurai! Gimme back my staff!"  
  
"Not until you tell me when we get to go back into THAT world!"  
  
"But."  
  
"I know. It's a secret. Just tell me DAMNIT! I wanna know! Grrrrrrrr."  
  
"Hey! That's a bit low, attacking me with my own staff."  
  
Kurai's golden eyes glowed evilly in the darkness. she said nothing. Just gave a low chuckle. then smacked him over the head again.  
  
Back to the main characters.  
  
"I think my streaks are fading. can we find a hairdresser?"  
  
"Err. can't you just cast a spell? That's how you put them there in the first place."  
  
"Oh yeah." Raya was having a bit of trouble adjusting to using magic. Having attended a magic school where use was severely restricted, the thought of using it for ordinary everyday things was a bit bizarre and a foreign idea, but she would never regret casting a Ragna Blade (which was pink) on her masters who had thought her too weak and unworthy to learn anything other than simple light and healing spells, and leaving. The first thing she had done when she left the academy was to change her green eyes to a shimmering purple and her brown hair to pink with blue streaks and a blue fringe.  
  
The nite was as long as the day was short and my story began to become quite tiring and in need of a good angsty flashback session.  
  
"ZANGULUS!" Martina screamed to his retreating back, "Why are you leaving me after five whole months of supreme wedded bliss. how can you leave now?"  
  
"Fuck off. I love Amelia. her warped sense of justice makes me horny in a way you never could. Farewell my BI-ATCH."  
  
Martina fell to the floor screaming.  
  
End of angst.  
  
We are now in an interval, a good time to go and eat or go to the toilet or something whilst I just yammer on about life in general and introduce the added in characters and random references used so far in this story. Firstly, cuz she's very kewl, Kurai. Kurai is Xellos's wife. ME! Sound horrifying to anyone? Well, I don't care. It's MY story and MY character, and MY Xellos. Kurai means darkness, and her surname, Musume, means daughter, therefore: Daughter of Darkness. Ahiru is someone I know called Melanie (Melamione, we all call her round here), and her name means Duck. Y'know, the squat little animal what quacks. Raya is my friend Soraya, we call her Raya and it sounds kewl, so that's her name. Get over it. The jester costume complete with teardrop and star is a ripoff from her fave character from Hunter X Hunter, Hisoka, who dresses like this permanently, whilst the towel dress, etc. is Kurapika, also from HxH, who is just funny.  
  
Now that I've explained everything, the only thing left for this interval is to say that this story is a pile of randomised garbage and involves lesbianism at a later date involving NONE of the characters used so far in this story. well, maybe one or two of them, but, hey! You've been warned, so it's not my problem. Ooh! I can put my disclaimer in here! OC's belong to me; the others belong to whoever wrote them originally plus the animators and various companies. I just choose to torture them a little. I have no money. seriously. I'm writing this on Raya's computer. although I think she thinks I be writing an assignment or something, so don't even TRY to bring her into this. *Nibbles on Xellos shaped lollypop* ok, I'll start writing now afore u all go insane. ON WITH THE STORY!!!  
  
Other dimension.  
  
Kurai had fallen asleep in a matter of moments after they had finished #%&*(@%& and was looking as peaceful as an angel, although he would never express these sentiments to her. A mazoku looking like an angel might be perceived as an insult and he was not quite sure as to how she would take the idea. They had been married for nearly a year and a half now and although things were not always smooth sailing, the couple were genuinely happy. Kurai spent three hours a day reading HP/SS fanfiction and Xellos was happy enough to read along with her, after all, he enjoyed the stories as much as she did. Xellos was the household cook and Kurai was happy enough to see him in his apron because she thought he looked cute.  
  
He decided that in the morning, they would return to the dimension in which Lina Inverse and her friends existed. Xellos missed the antics of the group and was looking forward to catching up with everyone, to see whether Gourry and Lina had any kids yet, or if Amelia and Zelgadis had finally come to see their affections for each other. He glanced across at his wife's sleeping form then snuggled in against her back and fell asleep.  
  
Kurai awoke but did not open her eyes, nor did she give any sign of her altered state. She knew that he had been staring at her again, but she didn't mind. She felt her husband settle behind her and it made her feel safe to know that he was there. She drifted back off to sleep.  
  
She awoke to the smell of freshly cooked waffles with maple syrup dripping from them, as well as home made peach tea. These were the mornings that made her feel glad to be alive. It was on these mornings where breakfast was made before she was awake that she would share her meal with her husband in bed and they would usually laze around for the day. They usually did this once a month, but this would be the second time, which meant that Xellos was up to something. "Xel?"  
  
"Ne?"  
  
"What's up? C'mon. spill it. You're up to something so tell me what it is, and don't you DARE tell me it's a secret!"  
  
"Alright, but only because I'm too tired. We're going off to see Lina and the others today." Kurai's eyes began to shimmer with joy.  
  
"You mean I finally get to meet these friends of yours?" She was bouncing up and down on the bed. literally  
  
"Yes. but you have to promise to behave." The bouncing stopped and she pouted. Her pink hair hung in a mist around her face, the back of it trailing down to the small of her back. Xellos looked at the image of cute innocence and melted. "Just try not to hit someone, ok?" A smile blossomed on her face and she glomped him. (AN: Glomp means to jump on someone in a hug. kinda pouncing on them. just so you know).  
  
That ends the first part of my dodginess story, so I'm off to play Spider Solitaire. which I began before this story was spawned. Send comments, criticisms. whatever. I'll actually write back to anyone who bothers to review my weirdness story. I accept all forms of reviews, however please keep criticisms constructive. Flames will be used to cook marshies (marshmallows) for me and Raya. So there. : P Thanks for reading and I do apologise for the random mood changes. My moods change quite quickly when I'm writing, also varying because of music. Bump of Chicken makes me silly/crazy/perverted, whilst Linkin Park makes me depressed and the Living End (GO AUSSIE ROCK!) makes me just plain serious. YAY! I saw Linkin Park live in concert! They on straight after the Living End!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG, the living end are so kewl. Their music is truly inspirational, kinda like jam roll donuts, and anyone who's seen fruits basket SHOULD understand this reference. Mmmmmmmm, Shigeru *drool*. Oops, my rant is long again. Please press the little Go button so that I can shut up. please............ *Raya smacks Quickjewel over the head, knocking her out*  
  
Raya: argh! *whacks Quickjewel with pink unicorn named Kumagoro...* silli doggie!  
  
Quickjewel: *wakes up* me a kitty! Not a doggy. No, me a Ch'mwa?! *crashes back to sleep*  
  
Raya: *rolls eyes and shrugs* eh. Please review. 


End file.
